It is easier to enjoy something when somebody else is
By the time you were old enough to choose your own entertainment, you had already learned to check whether the other person was enjoying it. Saturn in Libra in the 5th house makes pleasure a shared undertaking, monitored throughout for whether it is landing on everybody.
The 5th house is play, romance and what you make for its own sake; Libra does everything in company and by comparison. Saturn makes the monitoring compulsory, so the evening is assessed continuously and your own experience of it is filed somewhere behind the assessment.
The fear is choosing the wrong person
In romance, the anxiety is not rejection but a bad selection: committing to somebody who turns out to be a mistake, visibly, with the decision traceable back to you. It produces very long assessment periods and occasionally the loss of somebody who ran out of patience. The vetting is sound and the timeline is the problem.
It comes due when the preference has to be yours alone
The test is being asked what you would like to do, with nobody else's interests to balance and no correct answer available. The blank that follows is genuinely uncomfortable. It is also a fair measure of how long it has been since a decision was made on your own account rather than jointly.
Keep a record of what you actually liked
Because your enjoyment is routinely processed through somebody else's, your own preferences are surprisingly poorly documented, including to you. Note down what you genuinely liked after each occasion, privately, over the course of a few months. The resulting list is nearly always a surprise to the person who wrote it, and it is the only reliable evidence available anywhere about your own taste.
Pleasure that does not need a companion
What this builds, on the first occasion something is genuinely enjoyed alone, is unexpectedly large: a source of satisfaction that no relationship can take away and that no partner ever has to be consulted about. It also improves the company you keep, since a person arriving from their own interests is considerably better to be with than one arriving in order to share yours.
You are excellent at the early part, which is the difficulty
The opening stretch of romance suits you completely: reading what somebody wants, matching their pace, being easy and attentive company. It works so well that the person spends months with a version of you assembled entirely from their own preferences. Whoever they eventually meet arrives as a surprise. Put one genuinely inconvenient fact about yourself into the first fortnight.
You make things that other people will judge
Creative work for you is oriented toward reception: how it will land, who it is for, whether it holds up in front of an audience. That produces work with real craft and it means you rarely make anything purely to see what happens. One piece a year with no intended audience is worth doing, and it is the one you will learn most from.
You are careful to treat children equally
Fairness between children matters to you enormously, possibly because it was absent somewhere in your own history, and you go to considerable lengths to keep things even. Equal is not always what each child needs, though, and the difference matters. Watch for the child who needs more and is not asking, since your system will not detect them.
Some things do not have a right answer
You approach preferences as though there were a correct one available with enough consideration, which is true of some decisions and not of any decision about pleasure. The search for the right choice is what turns an evening out into a small project. Choosing arbitrarily, occasionally, is a legitimate method and one you have never used.
You are the one who makes sure everyone is included
At any gathering you track who is on the edge of things and bring them in, and it happens automatically enough that you rarely notice doing it. It is a genuine kindness and it is also a job, and it means you leave most events having talked to everybody and connected with nobody.