The brief is to notice what is wrong with them
As a written brief this would say: you will see precisely what is wrong with whoever is closest to you, continuously, and mostly not mention it. Pluto in Virgo in the 7th house puts relentless assessment into one-to-one bonds, so the person opposite is under an inspection they can feel and cannot name.
Pluto crosses a sign over decades, so the Virgo half is the shared one, describing a period rather than you. The 7th house was supplied by your birth time and is the individual half. It aims the corrective instrument at partnership rather than at your work or your body, which is why you are easier on colleagues than on the person you love.
Where the correcting lands
On the small things: how they said it, what they forgot, the detail that was very slightly wrong. Individually each one is trivial, and you mention perhaps a fifth of what you notice. The remaining four fifths do not disappear, they accumulate as a temperature the other person can feel and cannot locate. That is worse for them than the corrections would have been, because there is nothing there to answer.
How it is received at the other end
As a running measurement of whether they are adequate to you. What you intended was attention and investment, and those genuinely are what is underneath the noticing. But the second part never arrives on its own, so only the assessment is delivered. Say the investment out loud and often, in plain words, since it is the only thing that changes the meaning of everything else you say.
What the standard is protecting
Underneath the assessing is a belief that a relationship stays safe if it is managed well enough, and that belief predates your adult life. It is doing something for you. Notice when the correcting increases, because it tends to spike when you feel least secure rather than when they are least adequate.
Close to somebody who is not being improved
The version of this that works is deciding what genuinely matters, which is usually two things, and formally abandoning the rest. Write the two down. Everything not on that list gets no comment for a year, and you will find out what the relationship is like when it is not being maintained.
Friendships that run on being useful
You are the friend who helps: the move, the paperwork, the crisis handled competently while everybody else panics. It is real affection expressed in the only currency you fully trust. It also means you are almost never the one being looked after, and the imbalance has been in place for years. Ask somebody for something practical this month, then let them do it badly without stepping in to correct the method.
Somebody has to be got right
A great deal of your attention over the years has gone into managing one particular relationship well, and that effort has been real and largely invisible. It has also kept you focused on somebody else's condition rather than your own. Ask what you would attend to if that project were closed, and answer it seriously.
The partner who does the checking
In a working pair you take the role of the one who verifies, tidies and makes it actually work, and your counterpart takes the visible part. It is a genuine division and it is chronically unequal in credit. Renegotiate the visible half of it once, since the arrangement will not change on its own.
You keep the accounts for both of you
The bills, the renewals and the arrangements have all migrated to you because you handle them properly, and the other person has gradually stopped knowing where anything is or what it costs. That is exposure for them and an unshared load for you, and neither of you decided on it. Sit down together once a year and go through the whole thing, whether or not either of you wants to.
The in-law you cannot let be
There is somebody attached to your partner whose way of doing things genuinely bothers you, and you have been managing your reaction for years with mixed success. It is not going to resolve. Decide what you will simply tolerate, explicitly, since the undecided version leaks out at family occasions and costs you more than the tolerance would.