The safest place, and the one with a locked room
Two things are true at once. Home is the safest place you have, and it holds something nobody in it discusses. Pluto in Scorpio in the 4th house drives depth and concealment into the foundation, so your base is both refuge and hiding place.
What you share with a birth cohort covering many years is the Scorpio setting, since Pluto colours a whole span identically and it is not a personal trait. What is yours is that it landed in the 4th house, decided by the minute of your birth. It puts the buried material at the base of your life rather than out in your work or your partnerships, which is why the house you grew up in still exerts a pull that is difficult to explain to anybody.
What is under the floor
There is a death, a departure, a bankruptcy, a breakdown or a betrayal in the family's history that reorganised everything and was handled by not being mentioned. You may have found out sideways, or never fully. What reached you was the shape of the silence, and you have been able to feel its outline since you were young.
The shutting that happens at home
When something goes wrong in the household you go quiet and unreachable, and the quiet is not sulking, it is a door coming down. The people you live with have learned not to approach it. Tell them what it is, in advance, on a good day, since the explanation cannot be delivered while the door is shut.
What your household comes to expect
They expect that you will handle whatever is genuinely bad and will not be reachable for a while afterwards. Both halves are accurate. In a real crisis at home you are the most useful person present, calm and precise, and the recovery happens alone and out of sight. Let one person see the second half occasionally.
A base that has survived something
What you build at home is not decorative, it is load-bearing: a household that can take a serious blow and continue. You know this because it has already been tested at least once. That capability is worth naming rather than assuming, since everyone living in it is relying on it and nobody has mentioned it.
The room you were not taken into
There was a conversation, a decision, an arrangement or a person that the adults kept behind a closed door, and you knew the door was there without knowing what was on the other side. That withheld information became the shape of your attention. Ask now, of whoever remains, what was actually going on, since the version you reconstructed is invariably heavier than the facts.
A childhood house you can still walk through
You can move room by room through a place you have not lived in for decades, including the parts you disliked, and the recall is unusually complete. That is not nostalgia, it is a base that was studied rather than merely lived in. Go back to it in person once if that is possible, because the building at ordinary scale corrects a great deal.
Very few people cross the threshold
You keep home separate from almost everybody, and the people who have been inside are a short and deliberate list. Colleagues of years' standing have never seen it. That is a real boundary and it can be moved: invite somebody who has earned it, once, and treat the discomfort as the price rather than as a warning.
The body only stands down behind a locked door
You do not fully rest anywhere except at home with everything secured, and even there it takes hours. That is why travel and staying with others is more tiring for you than the activity accounts for. Build the securing into a short routine you can perform anywhere, since the requirement is the ritual rather than the actual lock.
Sharing a house is total access
Living with somebody means they see everything, which for you is a far bigger step than any declaration and considerably more frightening. That is why you have either resisted it or done it completely. Say which stage you are actually at rather than letting your behaviour communicate it, because your behaviour is being read as a verdict on them.