The group formed around you, then it cost you
First a circle assembled itself around you without your asking, and then you discovered what being the centre of one actually involves. Pluto in Leo in the 11th house puts the whole question of significance into community, so your groups have never been groups you were merely in.
There are two clocks in this placement: one runs in decades and gave the Leo setting to everybody arriving across that span, the other ran on your birthday and gave you the 11th house. Only the second describes you. It is why what you want is to matter to people rather than to be admired by them.
Watched, or left out, very early
Early on you were either the one everybody looked at or the one who was left out, and both produce the same result: an acute awareness of your position in any group. It went in before you had a choice. It is why you can read the temperature of a room towards you within about a minute of entering it.
Attention moves and you go quiet
When the group's attention moves elsewhere you do not mention it, you withdraw and become gracious and unreachable, and nobody present has the faintest idea what has happened. The withdrawal gets read as disapproval or coolness, which is the opposite of what is actually going on. Say the small ungrand sentence within a day, because after that the performance has begun and it will have to run its full course.
What the circle relies on
They rely on you to convene it. Without you the group does not meet, and everybody has become comfortable with that arrangement including you. It is generous and it is also a position. Stop organising for two months and see what the group does, since the answer is genuinely useful information about what you have been holding.
Leading something you did not choose to lead
You end up responsible for collectives you joined as a member, and it happens repeatedly and without anybody appointing you. That is a real capability rather than an accident. Take the responsibility openly rather than by default, since an unacknowledged leader carries the work without any of the authority to change how it runs.
Nothing happens unless you arrange it
You are the one who books it, chases people and makes the evening happen, and the group has quietly organised itself around that fact over years. It is genuine effort and it is invisible to everybody benefiting from it. Say once what it takes, plainly and without complaint, since nobody has ever had to think about it.
You gather people around a purpose
Your professional strength is convening: getting a group to work on something they would not have started alone. It is a distinct skill and it rarely has a title attached. Ask for the role that names it, since at present you are doing the work of a leader while being assessed as a contributor.
What you want people to remember
Your long-term hopes are about being significant to a group of people rather than about achievement in any measurable sense, and you may never have said that out loud even to yourself. It is a coherent aim. Write it down, since an unstated one gets substituted with somebody else's version of success by default.
The relationship is partly public
How you are seen together matters to you more than you would readily admit, and a partner who dislikes being visible in your circle creates a genuine problem rather than a minor one. That is worth stating early. Say what you need publicly, since it is entirely negotiable when named and corrosive when merely assumed.
You gather them too
The family occasions that happen are the ones you arranged, and the years you have not arranged anything are the years nothing happened. That is a considerable amount of unacknowledged work. Hand one occasion over completely this year, including the choices you would have made differently, and let it be somebody else's.