What you believe is rooted in where you came from
Pluto in Cancer in the 9th house ties conviction to belonging. What you believe is not an abstract position, it is inseparable from a place, a family or a group, and any argument about ideas has a family in it somewhere for you.
One half of this is a matter of which decade and the other of which hour. The Cancer colouring belongs to a long span of birth years and is nobody's personal property; the 9th house was fixed at your birth. It is why leaving home and changing your mind have always been, for you, a single operation rather than two.
It is the people, not the position
On the group that holds the belief rather than on the belief itself. You can leave a position and it barely registers; leaving the people who held it with you is what costs. That is why your changes of mind have been slow and painful in a way that looks disproportionate to anybody watching the argument rather than the room.
Disagreeing while staying inside
On being the one who thinks differently while remaining in the family. You would rather hold the disagreement silently for twenty years than be outside. The silence costs more than the disagreement would. Say one honest thing to one relative about what you actually think, and let the relationship prove it can hold it.
What people find in your convictions
They find warmth and an unexpected immovability underneath it, which surprises people who took the warmth as pliability. On the things that matter you do not move at all. Make that visible earlier rather than at the point of collision, since the surprise is what damages relationships and the position itself rarely does.
A faith with people in it
What works for you is a set of convictions held alongside others rather than worked out alone, and there is no shame in that. It is how most human belief actually operates. Find or build the group deliberately rather than waiting to inherit one, since belief without company has never held for you and is not going to start.
Distance from your people has a price
Roles that take you far from where your people are cost you considerably more than the salary reflects, and you have accepted at least one and paid for it over several years. That is a genuine constraint rather than an absence of ambition. Weight it explicitly in the next decision, above the title, since you have been treating a condition as a weakness to be overcome.
The community that became your second family
Somewhere outside your relatives there is a group that took you in: a congregation, a course, a place you kept returning to. It carries more weight than most people's friendships and it has never been named as what it is. Say it out loud to one of them, since a relationship this substantial should not be conducted entirely by implication.
The distance you took, and what it cost
You moved away, or you moved away in your thinking, and it was read at home as a judgement whether or not it was one. Both of those things have been true for years. Go back as who you are now rather than to relitigate the departure, since the original argument has almost certainly stopped being about ideas.
You want to build a shared account of things
What you look for in a partner is somebody to hold a view of the world with, and a relationship where you disagree about what matters feels genuinely unsafe rather than merely inconvenient. That is worth stating early. It also means you should test the disagreements before you commit rather than after, which you have historically declined to do.
Homesickness is a physical condition here
Being far from your people affects your appetite, sleep and steadiness in ways that do not respond to anything except contact. It is not weakness and it does not diminish with practice. Arrange the contact deliberately when you are away rather than treating the need as something to be got over, since it is a requirement and not a phase.