You feel it all and it does not show
Two things hold at once. You register far more feeling than the people around you do, and the outward version of you is calm and capable. Pluto in Cancer in the 12th house puts survival-level emotion in the part of the chart nobody can see.
Two different scales are stacked here. The Cancer half belongs to a birth cohort spanning many years, since Pluto marks the whole span alike. The 12th house half was fixed by the hour you were born. It puts the emotional material where even you have limited access to it, which is why moods arrive complete, with no event attached, and are frequently not yours at all.
It reached you as atmosphere, not story
Something happened further back than your own memory, and it reached you as atmosphere: a displacement, a loss, somebody who held everything together and was never asked how they were. You carry the shape of it accurately and cannot describe the content. That is why anniversaries affect you before you have remembered what they are.
Where the absorption jams
You take on the state of whoever is nearest without noticing the transfer, and by evening you cannot say which parts of your mood originated with you. The signal is being more upset than the person actually concerned. Name whose it is at the time, out loud if necessary, since afterwards you will have filed it as your own.
Easy to talk to, and giving little back
They meet somebody unusually easy to talk to who gives very little back, and the imbalance builds quietly over years until you are everybody's confidant and nobody's actual friend. That arrangement was not imposed on you. Offer something of your own regularly, in ordinary language, since nobody will ask and the asymmetry is entirely maintained by you.
How to actually put something down
Insight does not do it here and neither does time. What works is external: saying it to a person, writing it out, a physical practice that shifts the body rather than the account. Choose one and use it repeatedly, since a feeling that has no route out simply stays and gets added to.
The stomach reports before you do
Appetite and digestion register what is going on in you well before any of it becomes conscious, which means your body is running several days ahead of your own account of how you are. Treating the physical effect alone has failed every time you have tried it. When the appetite changes, look back at the previous week for what you took on and from whom, since the answer is reliably a person.
Most of it happens where nobody looks
The significant events of your inner life have no external markers: the decision made alone, the thing finally understood, the grief that was never announced. From outside your life looks steadier than it has been. Keep some record, since a life lived largely in private has no witnesses and memory alone is not sufficient to hold it.
You need retreat, not company
Recovery for you happens alone and in surroundings you know, and social recuperation does not work however genuinely fond you are of the people involved. You will keep accepting invitations regardless. Protect the retreat as a fixed requirement rather than as a preference, since a fortnight without it produces a version of you that everybody notices and nobody can trace back to a cause.
Moods that arrive with no event attached
Some of what runs through you was transmitted from a generation you did not meet, and it comes complete, without a cause, which is precisely how you can tell it is not originally yours. Start there rather than with the ones you can explain. A feeling with no event behind it is inherited material, and it is the only kind that can be handed back.
Work that happens out of sight
You are drawn to roles behind the visible operation: preparation, support, the part that makes somebody else's work possible. It suits you genuinely and it is systematically undervalued by every organisation. Make one contribution visible this year with a specific example, since the invisibility is structural rather than personal and only you can interrupt it.