Two things running: a genuine search and a wish to be its author
You are honestly trying to work out how things actually are, and you also want the resulting account to be recognisably yours rather than somebody else's borrowed and repeated. Both motives are entirely real, and they are not always compatible with each other.
The Leo half of this is common material across a whole span of birth years, showing up as a refusal of the assigned part; the ninth house, decided by your birth hour, is what puts it into belief, learning and the long view. Which is why you cannot simply adopt somebody else's framework, however good it is.
Nothing gets taken on unaltered
Every idea you find useful gets changed on its way into you: a term redefined, an emphasis shifted, an example replaced with your own. By the time you use it, it is no longer quite the thing you read. That is genuinely creative and it makes it very hard for you to say where anything came from.
Saying it in public is where it works
Your thinking sharpens under an audience: a talk, a piece of writing, an argument in front of people. Alone it stays vague. That is worth building into how you work rather than treating as vanity, because for you the public statement is a stage of the thinking rather than a report on it.
The permission to be somebody's student
What you will not do is submit to a teacher, a discipline or a tradition and follow it for a period without altering anything. It reads to you as disappearing. Being properly taught something, on the teacher's terms, is the exercise here, and what it gives you is the one thing your self-assembled worldview cannot provide.
A position other people can cite
What builds here is a way of seeing something that is identifiably yours and can be attributed to you: a phrase, a framing, an argument people repeat. That is genuinely rare and it is easy to give away by never writing it down anywhere. Fixing the current version in a form somebody could quote is worth doing, since spoken originality evaporates.
The search has to be yours to count
An inherited answer, however good, will not satisfy you: the working out has to have been done by you or it does not feel like knowledge. That is expensive in time and it is why the conclusions you do reach are genuinely held. Accepting that you will always take the long route is easier than the recurring attempt to shortcut it.
Get your name on it before it circulates
Ideas of yours travel: they get repeated, adopted and eventually attributed to whoever wrote them down. You have almost certainly lost at least one this way. The remedy is unglamorous and effective, which is to publish the thing in some fixed and dated form before you say it in a room. A note, a post, an email to yourself will do; the point is that it exists somewhere with your name on it.
You gather people around an idea
The groups in your life tend to form around something you were arguing for, and you end up as the centre of them whether or not you intended that. It is real influence with a real obligation attached. Making room for somebody else to take a position that differs from yours is what keeps a group alive after the initial enthusiasm.
You want a partner who takes the ideas seriously
Somebody who is indifferent to what you think about the world will lose you eventually, however warm the relationship is, because being taken seriously in that specific way is not optional here. It is not the same as agreement. Saying which of the two you actually want is worth doing, since most partners assume you are asking for agreement and provide it uselessly.
You argued with the household orthodoxy
The way your family understood the world got a public challenge from you, probably young and probably loudly, and the argument is remembered rather than resolved. Neither side has moved much. Asking one of them what they actually believe now, rather than restating your case, produces a different conversation and occasionally a surprising answer.