Keeping the peace was everybody's unpaid job
What other households manage by argument, yours managed by everybody adjusting continuously. Saturn in Libra in the 4th house makes domestic harmony a standing obligation rather than an outcome, and you were assigned a share of it before you could speak.
The 4th house is the private base underneath everything; Libra keeps things balanced. With Saturn present the balance has to be maintained rather than enjoyed, which means home is a place of ongoing diplomatic work and has never quite been a place where you could simply be unreasonable.
The weight is running the atmosphere
You read the mood of your household constantly and adjust to keep it level: what gets mentioned, what gets left, when to raise something and when to wait. It is skilled work and it is not experienced by anyone else as work. The tiredness at home has a cause and it has never been named out loud.
It comes due when something has to be said at home
The test is a genuine grievance in your own household that cannot be managed around: the arrangement that is unfair, the behaviour that has to stop. You will have waited a long time. Say it directly and early in the day, since your instinct is to raise it late, gently, in a form that can be misheard as nothing.
They think you do not mind
Because you absorb so much, the people you live with genuinely believe the current arrangement suits you. They are not ignoring your preferences; they have never been told any. The correction is unglamorous and specific: state one preference a week about something domestic and trivial, until it stops feeling like an imposition.
A home with real disagreement in it
What this builds, on the day arguments become permissible, is a household considerably more restful than the peaceful version ever was: things get said, dealt with and then forgotten, rather than managed carefully by one person for years. That is the reverse of everything you were taught at home, and it is nevertheless the arrangement your own household is entitled to have.
The truce you have been maintaining for decades
There is an arrangement in your family — a subject avoided, a person handled carefully, a fiction everybody maintains — that depends on your continued cooperation. You have been holding it up so long it looks like the natural state of things. Working out what it is costing you, specifically, is worth an hour, whatever you decide afterwards.
Your habits reorganise around whoever you live with
When you share a home, your eating, sleeping and exercise quietly realign to the other person's pattern, whether or not that pattern suits you, and you will not notice it happening. Over years your physical routine can end up belonging to somebody who moved out. Keep one daily habit fixed regardless of household, since it is the only stable reference point you have.
Peace and fairness turned out to be different things
You were raised to treat an absence of conflict as evidence that things were all right, and the two are unrelated. Many of the calmest arrangements you have lived inside were also the least fair, to you. Distinguishing them is the central piece of work here, and it usually starts with noticing a situation that is quiet and wrong.
You want a partner who will have the argument
What actually settles you is somebody who says the difficult thing plainly and then it is over — the opposite of your training and the thing you keep selecting against. Notice whether you have been choosing partners who are easy to live with rather than ones who are straightforward. Those are different qualities and only one of them is restful.
Domestic money is kept scrupulously even
Household finances under your management are fair to the point of precision, and you would rather be out of pocket than be ahead of somebody you live with. That is a real value with a real cost attached. Check once a year whether the fairness is mutual, since one-sided fairness is simply a subsidy with better manners.