Excellent management, no resulting calm
Two things are true here and they do not resolve. You handle resources better than almost anyone you know, and the handling has never once produced the feeling of being secure. Pluto in Virgo in the 2nd house puts relentless correction into money, possessions and self-worth.
Pluto sits in one sign for a long run of birth years, so the Virgo setting is common to an entire span and is not a description of you. The 2nd house half came from your birth time, and it is the half to read personally: the correcting instrument is aimed at what you own and at what you believe you are worth, which is why the accounts are immaculate and the underlying question stays open.
Where the checking started
There was a household where something had to be watched, and watching it correctly mattered, and the job attached itself to you early. Whether it was money or something else, what transferred was the method rather than the subject. It went straight into how you hold resources, which is why the vigilance long outlasted the circumstances that required it.
The correction that will not conclude
You review the purchase after making it, the rate after agreeing it, the budget after it balanced. There is no completion condition in the process, which is why it can run all evening on a matter that was settled at lunchtime. Give it a fixed slot each week. Outside the slot, the question is closed by rule rather than by feeling.
Read as tight, running on responsibility
You question a price, you check the total, you notice the error, and somebody decides you are mean. What is happening is that inaccuracy genuinely unsettles you and letting it pass feels like negligence. One sentence closes the gap: say that you would rather be exact than comfortable, and most people will hear it correctly.
Point the precision at income, not expenditure
All that forensic attention currently goes on the spending side, where the available gains are small and mostly spent already. Turn it on the other side of the ledger: what you charge, what you are owed, what has never been reviewed. The same instrument applied there is worth a multiple of what it saves here.
The gap between the spreadsheet and the feeling
Your position is stronger than your sense of it, and you have verified this more than once without any lasting effect. The number is not what is unsettled, so a better number will not settle it. Write the actual figure and the felt figure side by side each quarter. Watching the gap persist is more useful than trying to close it.
You are the one who checks the paperwork
Renewals, statements, the small print nobody else reads: it all reaches you, and the arrangement was never discussed, it simply settled where the competence was. Some of it is properly yours. Choose one item and teach somebody else to do it, which will take longer than doing it yourself and is the only route out.
The rate you have not revised since you set it
You will redo an invoice four times and leave your own rate untouched for years, because reviewing it upwards feels like a claim rather than an arithmetic exercise. Treat it as arithmetic. Put the figure, the date you set it and what has changed since on one page, and send the new number without a paragraph of justification attached.
Precise about who owes what
You remember the split bill, the borrowed item, the favour returned in a smaller size, and you will not mention any of it. Meanwhile a quiet account accumulates and eventually affects how warm you are. Raise the small thing while it is still small, because the alternative is that it silently becomes the reason you cooled.
The body reads the balance before you do
Sleep goes first here, and it goes on the nights before you look at anything financial rather than the nights after. That ordering is the useful clue: the dread is about the looking, not about the figure. Look on a fixed day each week, at a fixed time, so that the looking stops being an event you are bracing for.