Other charts have a casual setting; yours does not
Most people can enjoy something lightly. You cannot. Mars in Scorpio in the 5th house sends total engagement into romance, creation and play, so what other people treat as diversion becomes, in your hands, something with real stakes attached.
The sign is why the involvement is complete and the house is why the material was meant to be light. That produces creative work and attachments of unusual depth, and it removes an entire category of ordinary enjoyment from what is available to you, which is worth accepting rather than arguing with.
Attraction that goes straight past the surface
What draws you is not appearance or charm but whatever a person is not showing, and you detect it quickly. That makes your interest disconcerting and flattering at once. It also means you can be drawn to somebody complicated rather than somebody good. Ask the plain question about how they treat people, because your instrument does not measure that.
Made out of something that cost you
Your creative work draws on real material, which is why it lands and why showing it is genuinely exposing. Both are permanent features. Separate the making from the deciding: finish it, wait a month, then choose about the audience while calm. Nothing good has ever been decided about in the first forty-eight hours.
Play with the stakes turned up
You cannot enter a game without meaning it, so what was proposed as recreation acquires an edge that the rest of the table can feel within about ten minutes. Choose the settings where everybody actually wants it that way, and be straightforward that a light version is not something you can supply. Pretending to provide one has spoiled considerably more evenings than the intensity itself ever has.
Enjoyment requires nothing held back
Your pleasure only arrives when you are entirely inside something, and half attention produces very little of anything at all, which is why experiences that other people find charming can leave you unmoved and slightly puzzled. That is a fixed feature rather than a mood to be worked on. Stop measuring yourself against the shallow version and arrange fewer, deeper things instead, accepting that the resulting list is short by design and always will be.
Say early that you play for keeps
Casual does not run on your hardware and pretending it does has cost you and other people real damage. The kind thing is a warning rather than a restraint: say at the start what you are like, and let anybody who wanted something lighter leave without penalty. Everybody who stays after that has actually chosen it.
Three people, and nothing in the outer ring
Anything shallower than real acquaintance does not hold your attention, so what you have is a handful of people who have been through something with you and almost nobody in between. There is no redundancy anywhere in that arrangement. Take one existing acquaintance a year and deliberately push it deeper, since your natural entry route requires a shared difficulty and those cannot be arranged on purpose.
Creative work needs a reason to matter
You cannot produce for a brief that means nothing, whatever it pays, and you will produce extraordinary work for something you are actually invested in. That is not a preference to be managed, it is the operating condition. Choose commissions by whether the subject grips you, and decline the well-paid ones that do not, because the output will not be usable anyway.
Everything at once, then nothing
Your physical effort comes in total immersions followed by complete stops: the months of serious training, then the year of none. The intensity is fine and the gap is the problem. Keep a minimum during the off phase, deliberately small enough that you will not abandon it, so that the next immersion starts from somewhere rather than from zero.
The made thing is where it goes
Difficult experience does not resolve in you by being discussed, it resolves by becoming an object: something written, built, played or made, usually years later and often without the connection being obvious to anybody. That is a genuine mechanism rather than a hobby. In the seasons when you are producing nothing, the material simply accumulates, so keep one practice running at whatever scale the year permits.