The money arrives attached to somebody
Jupiter enlarges whatever it stands next to, and in your 2nd house it is standing next to your resources, which arrive through people: the client who recommended you, the contact who mentioned your name. Cold selling has never worked for you. What this needs is a rate you can say out loud.
Almost none of your income has come from a transaction with a stranger. That is a genuine pattern rather than a coincidence, and it means your financial security is a function of how many relationships are currently in good repair.
An eye that costs money
You can see the difference between the good version and the adequate one, in furniture, clothes, materials, everything, and once seen it cannot be unseen. That taste is real and it is expensive. Budget for it explicitly rather than being surprised by it annually, since the alternative is buying the cheap one twice and the good one afterwards.
Fairness applied to your own accounts
You are scrupulous about what you owe and vague about what you are owed, which produces an arrangement where everybody else comes out slightly ahead. It is not generosity so much as an aversion to the conversation. Ask for one outstanding thing this month, plainly, because the amounts are real and the discomfort is brief.
Worth measured by how you are treated
Your sense of your own value tracks how people behave towards you rather than any figure, which means a period of being taken for granted registers as a drop in worth. That link is worth loosening. Write down what you are worth on the evidence rather than on the treatment, and read it during the stretches where somebody is being careless.
Deciding what something is worth is hard
Pricing your own work paralyses you, because every figure seems either unfair to them or unfair to you, and the balance you are looking for does not exist. Somebody has to name a number. Take the market rate rather than constructing your own, since an external figure removes the whole of the difficulty for you.
You will not be the one who asks
Negotiating on your own behalf feels graceless to you in a way negotiating for somebody else never does, and the difference has cost you a great deal over a career. That asymmetry is the whole of the problem. Have somebody else ask, or write the sentence in advance and read it, since your competence returns the moment the request is not improvised.
Work where taste is the deliverable
Fields that pay for judgement about how something should look, read or feel suit you exactly: design, curation, editing, anything where the choice between two acceptable options is the job. That discernment is genuinely scarce. Charge for the selection rather than the execution, because the selecting is what nobody else can do.
Your surroundings are not a luxury
An ugly room, a badly made object or a discordant environment affects your functioning rather than merely your mood, and you have spent years treating that as an indulgence to be apologised for. It is a working condition. Spend on the surroundings before the entertainment, since one of them changes every day and the other does not.
Money between you was never discussed
In your family, financial matters are handled by implication: nobody states the arrangement, everybody has a different understanding, and raising it would be indelicate. You have gone along with that for years. Say one plain sentence about an actual figure, since the awkwardness of naming it is smaller than the accumulated cost of everybody guessing.
You always pay slightly more than your share
Splitting a bill, you round in the other direction, cover the person who is short and never mention the difference. It keeps evenings pleasant and it adds up to a substantial annual figure. Let one bill be split exactly, since the small correction protects a friendship better than the quiet subsidy does.