The accommodating happens where nobody sees the cost
Your luck speaks Libra and does its work in the 12th house, so the adjusting, the smoothing and the giving way all happen privately and are never counted by anybody. Constant company is what empties you here. What this needs is time in which nobody has to be considered at all.
The generosity is genuine and enormous. What almost nobody knows is the running total: the preferences set aside, the objections not raised, the times you took the worse arrangement because saying so would have made an evening awkward.
Concessions nobody knows about
You give way quietly and often, and because it is done gracefully the other party frequently does not register that anything was conceded. Over years that produces an entirely false picture of what you want. Say what you would have preferred, afterwards and without complaint, since the record needs to exist somewhere outside your own head.
Resentment that never reaches the surface
What you do not express accumulates, and it emerges eventually as withdrawal rather than as an argument: you simply become less present, and nobody can work out why. That pattern is the specific hazard here. Say the small objection at the time, because in this position the alternative is not peace but a slow disappearance.
Solitude as relief from adjusting
Time alone is not loneliness for you, it is the only stretch in which you are not calibrating yourself to somebody. That is why you protect it and why you feel guilty about needing it. Take it without explanation, since the guilt is itself part of the accommodating and it does not need to be indulged.
A private self nobody has met
There is a version of you with firm opinions, particular tastes and considerable stubbornness, and it has been shown to almost nobody, including people who have lived with you. That version is not unpleasant. Let one person meet it, because the effort of presenting the accommodating edition everywhere is the most tiring thing you do.
You only recover when nobody needs anything
Rest requires more than an absence of work for you: it requires an absence of other people's requirements, and a weekend spent pleasantly in company leaves you no less depleted than the week did. That distinction is the whole of the difficulty. Take one stretch a month with nobody at all to consider, and treat that rather than the weekend as the actual recovery.
You have been living slightly to one side
A good deal of what you have arranged was arranged around somebody else's requirements, and the version of your life you would have chosen alone has never been attempted. That is worth looking at directly rather than resenting quietly. Name one thing you would do differently, and do that one thing, since the whole cannot be renegotiated but a part can.
You have kept the peace at your own expense
In your family you have absorbed positions, insults and inconveniences for years in order to keep occasions pleasant, and nobody has ever acknowledged the arrangement because nobody has seen it. Say one thing plainly at the next gathering, since the peace you have been funding privately is not actually peace for you.
The friendships that lasted are the undemanding ones
The people who have stayed are the ones who ask nothing of your attention: no atmosphere to manage, no adjusting, no reading of what they might want. That is not coldness on your part, it is simply where the rest is. Notice which friendships those are, and give them the hours you currently spend on the effortful ones.
You have never said what you want in bed or otherwise
Your preferences within a relationship go largely unstated, partly from delicacy and partly because asking might unbalance something. The other person cannot guess and has probably stopped trying. Delicacy about this has cost you more than bluntness ever would have. Say one specific want out loud, since a partnership where only one person states preferences is not the equal arrangement you were after.